


It takes a village

by Karin1232



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 2018, Crying, Depression, Fluff, Harry Styles Live On Tour, Harry is sad, Harry-centric, Louis and Harry are friends, Making Up, OT5 Friendship, anne is so sweet, can be seen as lovers, harry is lonely, loads of tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 10:45:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14616744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karin1232/pseuds/Karin1232
Summary: “Hey Harry, are you okay?” Mitch, Harry’s bassist asked as he looked at the younger boy who was holding onto the microphone stand with both of his hands, not really doing anything.“Harry?”, Clare questioned as well as she walked over from where she was standing behind her piano. She quickly noticed that Harry was breathing quite fast even though he didn’t do anything else than standing here. His eyes were glazed over, fixed on the floor in front of him.Clare gently placed her hand on Harry’s shoulder startling him slightly but pulling him out of his trance nevertheless.“I’m sorry,” Harry said as he snapped out of his thoughts. “I just zoned out for a minute.”ORthe one where Harry is on his solo tour. He is depressed so One Direction teams up to make him feel better again.





	It takes a village

**Author's Note:**

> Still Needs to be edited but I really wanted to post it tonight. I also hate the ending because I feel like it was too rushed...

“Hey Harry, are you okay?” Mitch, Harry’s bassist asked as he looked at the younger boy who was holding onto the microphone stand with both of his hands, not really doing anything. 

“Harry?”, Clare questioned as well as she walked over from where she was standing behind her piano. She quickly noticed that Harry was breathing quite fast even though he didn’t do anything else than standing here. His eyes were glazed over, fixed on the floor in front of him.

Clare gently placed her hand on Harry’s shoulder startling him slightly but pulling him out of his trance nevertheless.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said as he snapped out of his thoughts. “I just zoned out for a minute.”

“Maybe we should take a break? We’ve been rehearsing for nearly an hour now,” the woman suggested and Harry gave her a nod.

Clare, Sarah, Adam and Mitch seemed to notice that he didn’t want to talk right now and exited the room leaving Harry by himself.

The curly haired boy walked over and drank some water, ran his hand through his hair and sat down on the floor before pulling his phone out of his pocket.

He simply didn’t know why he was feeling so down lately but Harry couldn’t really help it. He knew that he had every reason to smile constantly because of his success but he didn’t feel like doing so.  
Harry had once auditioned at the British X-Factor as a solo artist. However due to the judges thinking that he and some other boys were a perfect match he had been put together into a band with four other teenage boys called Louis, Zayn, Liam and Niall.

Ever since that day Harry had found a second family within these boys. They had literally taken over the world by storm and had become famous overnight. However it had always been nice to experience all those things with someone else instead of being alone. Harry still liked to think back to their first time performing at Madison Square Garden or their first arena tour, followed by a freaking stadium tour. No matter what he had always had these boys around to rely on. Of course there were so many people like bodyguards, stylists, people from catering or their band who had always been around but it still wasn’t the same.

Harry and his friends had been on the road non-stop for nearly five years when Zayn had decided to leave. It hadn’t really been a surprise because Zayn had been miserable a lot and had complained about being tired and wanting to take a break but with their busy schedule it simply hadn’t been possible and so he had decided to give this up.

They had all cried a lot after Zayn had left for good and a lot of angry words had been said to Zayn when he had called telling them that he was sorry for not talking to them in person. 

After Zayn’s departure things had changed. The four remaining boys had grown even closer but something had still felt out of place and so after five and a half years of being One Direction they had decided to split up. It wasn’t an actual break-up since they had always promised each other to come back as a band. They called it hiatus. All of them had started to dream about being a successful solo artist and so they had decided to give this a try.

Just like you do when you say goodbye to each other the boys had also promised each other to text and call the others about anything but of course things like that never really happen. 

At first they had texted and facetimed a lot and had tried to meet up whenever they had been in the same place but as time passed these things had gotten rare. 

Now it wasn’t more than a quick text message every few days or a picture from time to time. 

*

Harry was currently on top of the world. He knew that he had made it as a solo artist. His first solo album had been a success, going straight to number one in so many countries. He had performed at all the important TV-Shows like Saturday Night Live, the Today Show, The Late Late Show. He had even done a movie and for sure his life couldn’t be better. 

He had won a lot of awards as well only emphasizing how well he was doing. Heck he had even won a brit award and that was massive. 

Right now Harry was doing rehearsals for his upcoming arena tour. He still liked to think back to his first tour, which had been much smaller. 

As an artist it was extremely difficult to decide where to play. Harry had done his first tour in small venues, not really knowing if he would even sell tickets but once again his fans had proved him wrong allowing him to move to bigger venues for his upcoming tour. The fans still meant everything to Harry because he knew that without their support he wouldn’t be able to do any of these things that he was doing now. 

His fans were kind and warm-hearted, making him smile so much. Harry wasn’t someone who posted a lot on social media but he for sure creeped around from time to time. Whenever he had some time off he went online and searched for his name, for a hashtag about a show or anything like that and most of the time he was greeted with so many lovely messages that he felt like crying. 

Harry loved the things he was doing at the moment and the best part was definitely going on tour. He didn’t like being away from home for so long or being jetlagged but he loved being on stage. Harry’s shows were something special, as people always said. 

They were colorful and happy. Harry always told people to have the time of their lives, to be who they wanted to be in this room. He had a lot of friends and some or straight while some others were gay. Some were black, some were white and to be honest all of it didn’t matter and Harry for sure wanted people to know this. He decided to go with the slogan “Treat people with kindness” because isn’t it the most important thing to do? 

Everyone is their own person and shouldn’t be afraid to be who they are. There is nothing wrong with being gay for the matter and Harry simply hoped that he could make a little bit of a difference in this world. Even if it may be a small one. 

He tried to be a role model for some of his fans, telling them over and over again that it was not worth it to worry about someone else’s opinion. If you spend your time worrying about what other’s might say you’re probably missing out on a lot of things. Harry himself had learned to stop doing it. Back in the early years of One Direction he had taken a lot of things by heart. He had learned that it was doing no good to do so. It was more important to live in the moment and enjoy the things you’re being able to do than to worry about what others might think. 

Harry always performed in custom-made suits by fashion designer. Some of them were sparkling, some of them were “normal” ones, some others had prints on them. He didn’t really care and his fans didn’t seem to mind. Hell, Harry was so comfortable with the things he was doing that he even was planning to wear a kilt on stage for his concert in Glasgow on the upcoming tour. 

Harry still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he was indeed doing an arena tour as a solo artist not even one year after he had dropped his album. It was beyond massive and Harry knew that he had every right to feel proud of himself. 

He knew that it was a huge achievement and it simply also showed that the fans were so dedicated. There was a difference in buying tickets to a concert of a boyband and buying tickets to a concert of someone who had been in a boyband. All these people were coming just because they wanted to see him perform and Harry couldn’t be more thankful for that. 

The only thing that Harry really missed was having someone around who went through the same things. He had a lot of friends supporting him but most of them weren’t there for real. Like Harry knew that they sent him texts, telling him how proud they were but they still weren’t physically with him. Back in One Direction he had always had four other boys who had gone through the exact same thing and he had always been able to talk to them. 

His family wasn’t there either. Not even a year ago Harry’s stepdad Robin had passed away. It had been really hard for Harry because Robin had been more like a father to him because he had known him for such a long time. Robin had made his mother happy and Harry has admired this guy. 

His mother, Anne, was doing good now, thank god for that. She sometimes struggled with being lonely since both of her kids were living in London now but she had a lot of friends and worked a lot so she was not really that lonely and whenever she felt down Gemma, Harry’s sister, made sure to cheer her up. 

Gemma was in a relationship with a guy that Harry really liked and she was also working full-time so of course they didn’t see each other a lot when Harry was on tour. 

Harry once considered taking his mother and sister on tour with him but then again he had felt like it would be weird for a 24-year-old celebrity to travel around the world with his mum and Gemma didn’t want to give up her job and risk her relationship so they came to see him whenever they had time. 

Harry simply didn’t like doing interviews on his own because when he had his friends with him it had been a lot easier. Whenever one of them had felt down, tired or sick the others would easily cover it up. Now Harry was on display whenever he appeared somewhere and every movement was eyed. He got asked these stupid questions and even though his management always handed the interviewers a sheet with the questions that they weren’t allowed to ask it was hard sometimes. 

Most of the times the interviews were quite boring and Harry still remembered joking around with Niall when they were bored or some banter between the boys. They used to laugh a lot and Harry really missed this. He knew that he should be happy and grateful and he was, he really was but he was still missing a piece of his heart. 

The idea of playing in front of thousands of people made Harry’s heart beat faster. It was a huge achievement but he also knew that he was going to places he had been with the lads and it was quite hard to wrap his head around it. 

*

It was two days before Harry’s first show of his arena tour. He was kicking the tour off in Switzerland. He was doing 60 shows on this tour and he was going to be on the road for about four months with only a few days off but the days off were being spent with travelling from one place to another. He wouldn’t be able to come home more than a day or two and that was kind of scary. 

Harry was currently sitting on the bed in his bedroom, looking at the piles of clothing that he had picked out to take with him. It was one thing that Harry always hated – packing his bags. Most of the time Harry only packed his personal belongings and then just put some simple clothes into his suitcase. 

Harry’s phone started beeping right next to him, telling him that he had gotten a message. 

He sighed, leaned over and took the phone off his nightstand. Upon looking at the screen he smiled. It was Niall. 

**From: Nialler To: The boys** _Last day of rehearsals. Tour starts in three days :D How are you all doing? Xx_

There was a picture attached to the message and Harry smiled because he felt proud. All of them were doing so well on their solo careers and it was just great to see. Niall was starting his world tour only a day after Harry did and he was apparently still rehearsing. The picture was a selfie with a smiling Niall. In the background Harry could see his bassist and drummer holding their thumbs up as well, smiling widely. 

Harry quickly took a picture of the clothes lying around in his bedroom, before sending it back. 

**From: Harry To: The boys** Enjoy your time. I’m currently packing my bags.. Or trying to do so.. Miss you boys a lot! Xx 

Ever since One Direction had gotten so big the boys had started to feel like brothers. It was probably just because they spent so much time together, much more time than they spent with their families. They used to talk about everything and slowly they had turned from being best friends to being brothers. 

Harry was beyond proud of all of his brothers. They were all doing so well themselves. 

Liam was working hard on finishing his album but had dropped a lot of songs already. His last big project was a song with no one else than Rita Ora. It was a song for the Fifty Shades series and it was an absolute banger. Liam’s life had been busy because he become a father a year ago. Harry still remembered the day Liam had sent them the ultrasound picture of his unborn child. At first they had all thought that he was kidding but once they had figured out that he was telling the truth they had all been very happy. 

Louis was also working on finishing his album. His life had definitely been an emotional roller-coaster since they had gone on hiatus. At first he had been eager to drop an album but then one day Louis had texted them saying that his mother had gotten diagnosed with Leukemia. 

Needlessly to say it had been a shock for all of them. Louis had always been a typical “Mommas-boy” and he had dropped everything to rush home. It hadn't just been that his mother had been sick but also that his siblings, the youngest two only two years old, had been struggling to live without their mum who had been staying at the hospital. 

Louis had spent a lot of time at the hospital and looking after his family since his step-dad Dan had been tired and stressed as well. He had tried really hard to be there for all of them but had been thankful for help as well. 

Jay had promised her son that she was doing okay and that he shouldn’t spend his time worrying about her. She had gotten treatment and she had needed him to live his life without worrying. 

Louis had flown back and forth to Los Angeles for months. His son was living there and he had needed to be with him as well even though he wasn’t with his mother anymore. 

Harry knew that Louis was a strong person, he had always been but he also knew that his mother’s death had crushed him. His mother had never gotten to see him perform on the X-Factor because she had died just days before but on that day they had all gotten together to support Louis. 

It had been out of question. When he had told them about his mother’s death and his upcoming performance on the X-Factor they had dropped everything to go back to London to be with Louis on this day. That’s what family was for, right? 

Of course Louis was still struggling from time to time but his family was strong and they were pushing through this together. Right now Louis was focusing on his career again. 

Harry also knew that Zayn was working hard on some new music. The thing about Zayn was difficult for him. He had heard a few snippets of Zayn talking about One Direction and he sometimes had said some rude things. He had lately said in an interview that he and Harry had never really spoken to each other. 

Of course Harry was media-trained and knew that things in interviews were often taken out of context but since Zayn hadn’t reached out to correct this statement he believed it. It was quite obvious that Louis was Zayn’s best friend in the band but it hurt nevertheless. Harry knew that Zayn was struggling with anxiety and that this was why he didn’t go on tour. He sometimes came close to calling or texting him but then again he didn’t know if Zayn would want him to. 

*

One day before Harry hit the road and started his tour he felt like life was suffocating on him. He woke up in the morning, checked his phone and saw a ton of messages. 

His Management Team had texted him and some members of the Team had even called him. Thank god that Harry put his phone on silent during the night. It was one thing that he did every night. In the beginning of his career Harry had never muted his phone overnight, saying that he wanted to be accessible whenever someone needed something but he had soon learned that his mother simply loved texting him “Good Morning” or “Good night” and depending on where he was in the world those texts sometimes came at bad times. Sometimes he tried really hard to finally catch some sleep, being jetlagged as hell and when he was about to finally fall asleep his mother would send him a text. 

Harry knew that he should be excited because he was going on tour and he was but not completely. He worried over the most stupid things, weird thoughts running through his head but he couldn’t find a way to stop them. He worried about getting sick because when he got sick he probably had to cancel a show and he definitely didn’t want to do this. When he had gotten sick back in One Direction he simply had let the other boys take over his solos so it had never been a big deal but now people were relying on him. Fans spent so much money to get to see him and then he probably sounded like shit because he was sick or had to cancel an entire show and he simply couldn’t do this. 

He worried about messing up in any way. What if he forgot the lyrics? What if he messed up playing the guitar? What if he made a fool of himself? Harry stopped caring about what others had to say about him a long time ago but on days like this all of his inner demons showed up and his anxiety kicked in, telling him that everyone was going to judge him. 

He knew that he had to say goodbye to his family today as well. His mother had promised to come to London to see him and Gemma was also coming over, wanting to say goodbye to him as well because she was going to New York with her boyfriend in a few days. 

Upon looking through the texts he smiled when he saw that Louis had texted as well. He was currently in America with Eleanor, his girlfriend and due to time changes and the fact that he was a busy man he didn’t text often but when he did it was like in the good old days. 

**From: Lou To: The Boys** _Looking sick, Nialler! Harold, I hope that you pack some sexy shirts – you know how much the girls love them :P I’m doing good meself, busy with the album and stuff.. Xx_

Their Whatsapp group “The boys” was a group chat that no one else than Niall had started. He still whined about the name from time to time but couldn’t think of anything else and no one else cared. Harry smiled because Louis only called him Harold when he wanted to tease him and he still did that a lot. 

The thing about Louis and Harry was that their friendship was still strong yet different from back in 2011. It was a lot more complicated because of the fans. Whenever Louis and Harry interacted in public people made a fuss about it, saying that Larry Stylinson was real. It was a name the fans had come up with upon thinking that Louis and Harry were in a relationship. 

Harry and Louis had gotten along very well right from the beginning and with Louis being the oldest and Harry being the youngest Louis had taken Harry under his wing. Harry had been dealing with being homesick a lot and Louis had always offered a hug. 

Upon realizing that their fans were genially thinking that they were in a relationship management had put things to a stop. There were no more gentle touches or hugs, sometimes not even glances were exchanged between the two of them. It put their friendship to a test and definitely changed it in some ways but Harry and Louis were still Harry and Louis. 

They both put a lot of effort into making this friendship work. They had learned to accept how they had to act in public and behind closed doors they were still normal friends. Of course things had changed and Louis had grown closer to Zayn while Harry had found a very good friend in Niall as well but they were still best friends until today. 

Harry didn’t answer to Louis’ text, not really knowing what to say to him anyway. Harry knew it was probably quite selfish but he really wished for one of the boys to be at his concert tomorrow. He was quite aware of the fact that they were all very busy but this was such a huge deal. He was kicking off his tour in front of nearly 7.000 people without having anyone there to support him and it somehow really sucked. 

He had his band with him and he loved them dearly because they were all incredible people but they simply weren’t who Harry wanted to have with him. 

Harry sighed , put his phone back on his nightstand, not really interested in answering any texts right now and got up. He already felt tired and stressed out as he made his way downstairs into the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. 

*

It was hours later when Harry found himself sitting on the big, black leather couch in his living room with his mother and sister sitting on the other couch on the opposite. 

He was sipping on some tea, listening to his sister talk about her planned trip to New York with her boyfriend. 

“Haz, you’re awfully quiet today. Are you alright?” His mother suddenly asked, looking over at her son, worry written over her face. 

Harry blinked before looking up, his eyes meeting his mother’s before wandering to his sister. 

“I..I’m okay,” he mumbled even though he knew that everyone can easily tell that he was lying. 

“Okay,” Gemma answered, furrowing her eyebrows together. “And now tell us the truth.” 

The thing about having a family you’re awfully close with was that they can read you like an open book. They don’t need to ask questions to know if you’re alright or not. They can easily tell by the way you’re acting. 

Anne was the person who had raised Harry. She knew all his quirks and always knew when something was bothering her youngest child. It was like the instinct of a mother so seeing Harry sitting on the couch, eyes wandering around, his shoulders hunched and his entire posture looking a lot smaller than usual she instantly sensed that something was bothering her son. 

“I’m just… nervous,” Harry said quietly, his voice barely more than a whisper. 

“About going on tour?” Gemma asked in disbelief raising her voice as she said the words. 

Harry was a lot of things but he definitely wasn’t someone to get nervous about going on tour. Gemma knew her brother. She knew that he was born to be on stage. No matter what he always made the crowd go wild. People sometimes camped outside of the venue for days to stay as close to the stage as possible. She had seen Harry perform so many times and he was always doing a brilliant job – no matter if he was on his own or back then when he had been with the other boys. 

Harry was always excited, very excited but never nervous. 

“It just..,” Harry started to say, sighing loudly, looking back down again. “It feels wrong to do this alone.” 

Both Anne and Gemma instantly knew what he was referring too and felt their hearts break a little bit when Harry looked over to them, eyes glassy with tears. 

“Oh babe,” Anne cooed, walking over and taking a seat right next to her son, pulling him into a tight embrace. 

“You did so good on your last tour and you’re going to do so well on this tour.” 

“But still,” Harry whined, a single tear rolling down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away. He was embarrassed because he was currently crying in his mother’s arms over something no one should cry about. He was on top of the world yet felt like he was the loneliest person. 

“Babe you’ve decided to do this solo thing. It’s good for you. Look how far you’ve come,” Anne said, running her hand through Harry’s curly hair. 

She loved seeing his hair grow back again. Harry cut it two years ago because of his movie role in Dunkirk. He always looked flawless and handsome in her eyes but she still loved his curls even more. 

“I know,” Harry said, his voice quivering. “I just miss having them around.” 

“You should talk to them,” Gemma suggested all of a sudden but Harry was quick to shake his head no. 

“I can’t tell them that I’m feeling lonely without them being here. I’m not a baby,” he argued, pulling at his hair in frustration. 

“You’re probably just nervous about all of this. Once you’re on stage everything will be okay and then you won’t feel like that anymore. You have so many people around you so there is always someone you can talk to,” Harry’s mother said in a sweet tone. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” the curly haired boy shrugged, not really wanting to talk about this any longer. 

It was quite obvious that his family didn’t understand what was making him so upset. He knew that they were trying to give him advice and be there for him but nothing could make this feeling to away and Harry currently felt like he was drowning. 

He was quite relieved when the topic was changed and the talked about a lot of other things, not mentioning the tour more than necessary. 

They talked for a little while longer. About New York, Gemma’s boyfriend, their hometown Holmes Chapel where Anne still lived and just some other things. When Anne and Gemma said their goodbyes it was nearly six o’clock and Harry still had to finish packing his bags. He also knew that he should head to bed early tonight because touring always took a toll on him. He was only going to be in Europe and the UK for this leg of the tour so there was only one hour time difference so he was not going to be jetlagged but he already knew that it was going to be a stressful journey anyway so catching some sleep was always a good option. 

*

Harry’s tour started on a Sunday. It was March 11th and he was really excited to get up when his alarm went off in the morning. It was only 6.30 am but he was okay with it because tour was starting and life was great. 

Like every other morning Harry checked his phone quickly seeing some messages from his bodyguard Preston telling him that he was going to pick him up at 8.30 so Harry had two hours to get ready. 

Harry spent his time eating some breakfast – some cereal and a strawberry smoothie – before taking a long shower, finishing packing his personal belonging in his carry on and checking everything twice. 

He had about half an hour left before Preston was going to pick him up so Harry decided to look through Twitter. He became a pro in looking through all of the tags without being noticed by anyone. He was quick to type #HarryStylesLiveOnTour in to look through the “official” tag about his tour. He was greeted by a lot of people saying that they were really excited for this tour to start, that they waited so long for this. Some others were quite upset because they weren’t able to see him life and Harry always felt bad for them. 

He was trying really hard to go to a lot of places including some new ones every time he goes on tour but it was not that easy and he sometimes felt really bad about not being able to go everywhere. 

Looking through the hashtag of course also brings back some people saying that the hashtag should be #OneDirectionLiveOnTour and that was when it hit Harry. He was going to be on his own tonight. He was not going to meet his bandmates at the airport this time. He had to do this on his own and Harry felt His mood change instantly. He really needed to talk to someone and the only person coming to his mind was Liam. 

Harry knew well enough that Liam was most likely the one to pick up at phone at this time because he was a father now and so sleeping in probably wasn’t happening anymore. Niall on the other side was for sure still asleep and Louis was in America and he was either going to pick up the phone drunk because he was out partying or not picking up at all because he was already asleep. 

Harry didn’t need to scroll through all the names on his phone because he had all of the boys and his family saved under ‘favorites’. He was about to click on Liam’s name when he realized that he didn’t know what to say to him. He couldn’t just say that he was missing him. He didn’t want to be a bother. Harry sighed before locking his phone. No, he was a grown-up man, he could do this. 

A few minutes later someone knocked at Harry’s door. He checked the clock and knew that it was Preston. Punctual as always. Harry quickly got up and let his bodyguard in. He was a tall, bulky man in his early forties. Preston was always making sure that Harry got everywhere safely and that no he could fly under the radar from time to time as well. 

He was a friendly guy despite looking rather scary but he had a heart made of gold. 

“Good morning, Superstar,” he said as he entered the house, patting Harry on the back. “Ready to hit the road?” 

Harry took a deep breath, not allowing himself to let his guards down and smiled back at the older man, nodding his head. 

“Of course,” he said, trying to sound as convincing at possible. “There’s two suitcases in my bedroom and my carry-on. I guess Harry’s got the rest of my clothes.” 

On this tour Harry was working with a stylist called Harry Lambert. He was a really nice guy and he picked out Harry’s outfits for him. Harry had seen some of them but not all and he’s kind of excited to see what had been picked for him. 

“Okay, let’s go,” Preston said as he pushed past Harry with the suitcases, putting them outside before turning back to face Harry who was putting on his shoes and taking his bag. 

*

Before leaving the house the young boy took another deep breath and tried to hold the tears at bay. He was strong. He could do this. Or at least that is what Harry told himself. 

It was still quite early when they reached Basel. It was around lunchtime but Harry decided to go straight to the venue instead of getting something to eat somewhere. He could feel the nerves kicking in now so he really wants to rehearse some more. 

He was instantly greeted with hugs and smiles as he walked inside the venue. There were many people there for him. There was his entire crew and he was really happy to see them. They all gave him a big hug and Harry took his time talking to all of them for a little while because he was going to be on the road with them for a few months. 

His band was already waiting for him as well, greeting him with hugs and kisses. Harry loved these people dearly and he knew that they were very talented which was the reason why he had chosen them to go on tour with him. 

They were helping him with his vocals as well which was something new because back in One Direction it had always only been the boys singing. 

A few minutes later Harry found himself standing on stage, looking around the venue. Right now it was calm and quiet but he knew that this would change quickly once the doors were being opened. There were nearly 7000 people coming tonight and Harry’s heart started beating a little fast thinking about it. He was nervous yet excited but on the other hand he felt lost. He was on stage rehearsing and he knew that everyone was relying on him. Soundcheck was quite boring like that. Back in the band Harry and the other boys had loved to mess around during soundcheck. It was one of the things they never really cared about and so they had messed around a lot. 

“You’re going to smash this tonight,” Mitch, his bassist, said proudly as they walked off stage after finishing the soundcheck. 

“I’m going to get some rest,” Harry told everyone, not interested in anything else. He walked down the corridor until he found the right door. “Harry Styles private room” was written on a piece of paper that had been put on the door. 

It was a rather small room. There was a black leather couch, a coffee table, a TV and a small bathroom attached to the room. The room was painted in an ugly light red color and there were some weird paintings on the wall. Harry however didn’t really care as he flopped down on the couch, putting his feet on the armrest of the couch. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. He still got six hours until he was supposed to go on stage so there was no stress with make-up and clothing yet. 

He unlocked his phone and smiled when he saw that he had gotten 8 new messages on WhatsApp. 

Quickly opening the app, Harry started reading through them. 

**From: Mum <3**  
_Have a fabulous start of your tour tonight, love! I’m so proud of you! Give me a call when you have time, yeah? Xx_

Harry smiled but didn’t reply to His mother’s message. He was going to give her a call in a few minutes. He was opening another message. This time it was from Gemma. **From: Gem** _Rock this stage tonight, Stlyes! I love you a lot!!_

Gemma was always someone who managed to make Harry laugh. The two of them were very close to each other, talking about anything that came to their mind. 

Harry quickly dent her back a short message, thanking her and wishing her a nice holiday once again. He then moved on reading through some messages from his close friends Nick Grimshaw, Lou Teasdale and even one from Ed Sheeran. 

They all sounded the same. They all wished him a great tour, lots of fun and a great concert tonight. Harry felt humbled knowing that his closest friends did care about him. He had known Nick for a few years and they were really close, spending a lot of their free time together as well. 

Harry had met Lou Teasdale a few years ago when she had been doing their hair and make-up on tour. Lou had a daughter who always traveled with them but now she was older and she was going to school so Lou had said no when Harry had asked her if she wanted to join him on the road again. She simply didn’t want to be separated from her daughter for such a long time and Harry of course hadn’t want to make her choose between him and His family. 

Harry and Ed Sheeran had met years ago when Ed had already been a superstar and One Direction had just started. The two of them had gotten along so well and they had soon become close friends. With Ed being a global superstar and Harry being quite busy as well they didn’t see each other very often but they sent text messages to each other every once in a while and whenever they found he time they liked to meet up as well. 

Other than these messages, Harry’s smile grew bigger as soon as he saw that they boys had written as well. 

**From Nialler:**  
_Good luck tonight, H! Know it’s gonna b great! X_

 **From Lou:**  
_2 early 4 meh but good luck with that tour! U gonna rock this! :P_

Harry chuckled as he read the message. This was Louis’ way of saying that he had been out partying the night before and that his brain had yet to start functionating properly. 

**From Liam:**  
_Hey Mate! I hope you have a fantastic start of the tour today! I know that you’re going to rock this stage and make everyone even prouder! Misss you Xx_

Harry smiled knowing that his boys didn’t forget about him but now his heart ached even more. He just wanted his boys to be here with him, to laugh with them, play a round of Fifa or do whatever and then go on stage with them but he knew that this was not happening. 

He quickly send back his thanks to all of the boys before looking at the last message he had gotten. He froze when he saw that it was from no one else than Zayn Malik. 

**From Zayn:**  
_It just popped up on my Twitter that you start touring today. Have a great time, man! Miss you!_

Harry frowned before reading the message again and again. He hadn’t spoken to Zayn in nearly three years. Ever since the day Zayn had left. So what could he possibly want? Zayn had even spoken to the media about One Direction saying some stupid stuff that had hurt and he had also said that he and Harry never really talked which wasn’t true at all. They probably had never been the closest friends back in One Direction but Harry had loved and probably still loved Zayn like a brother. When Zayn had left the band no one had said a bad word about him in public because it had been his decision to leave and even though the boys still didn’t understand back then they weren’t going to shade him in any way. 

Harry didn’t really know what Zayn was up to at the moment. He knew that he had dropped an album a year or two ago and that he didn’t tour. The last thing he had heard was that he was in relationship with the model Gigi Hadid but that’s all. 

Harry being Harry couldn’t just ignore the message like Louis probably would so his fingers flew over the screen as he typed in a message to his former bandmate. 

**To: Zayn**  
_Thank you! Means a lot. Hope you’re well!_

Putting his phone away Harry closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep before he was supposed to get ready for the show. 

*

“Harry you’re on in five,” Phoebe, one of Harry’s assistants said as she walked into the dressing room where Harry was sitting with his band. 

The curly haired boy nodded His head, glanced at the clock and slowly got up. He had spent the afternoon taking a nap before being woken up by his stylist to do his hair and make-up. He then sat down in the main dressing room with his band, having a chat with them. 

Phoebe fussed over him, running her hand through his hair and fixing a loose curl with some hairspray. She made sure that his suit looked good and gave him a thumbs up before leaving the room in a hurry. Tonight Harry was wearing a black Gucci suit. He was feeling confident yet incredibly nervous and simply didn’t know what to do. 

On days like this, the first day of a tour, he would usually sit with the boys, laugh around and get ready but today he was on His own. He knew that his band couldn’t cover up when he messed up somehow. Harry had been practicing for this tour a lot but rehearsals and the main concert were two different things. 

He knew that there were 7000 people out there waiting for him. He could actually hear them from backstage and even though he was happy and proud he was also lonely and felt lost. His stomach was churning and Harry felt nauseous. 

“Are you ready?” Mitch, his bassist asked as they walk behind the stage. 

Harry nodded his head and put on a smile. He had to put on a show. He had to smile and laugh and make jokes even though he didn’t feel like doing it. He knew that people were relying on him. They paid so much money for tickets, some of them even travelled from somewhere so they deserved to have the most amazing time. 

Harry took a deep breath, inhaled and exhaled as he stood behind the screen that was the only barrier between him and his fans. His heart was beating fast against His chest, his hands feel sweaty. He heard the screams so loud as he stood there and knew that the cube had been solved. The lights were off and the music started playing. This was it now – Harry Styles live on tour was starting. 

“Wow, that was amazing,” Sarah said with a big smile on her face as they walked down the stage. 

Harry was smiling as well, still feeling the energy from the concert running through his body. 

The concert had been amazing. From the very first second right until the end people kept screaming, dancing and clapping, making it quite easy for Harry to enjoy his time on stage. 

Much to his relief he hadn’t messed anything up and so he was quite happy with the start of the tour. He loved how loud people were clapping after hearing his new, unreleased songs “Anna” and “Medicine” and he was quite sure that it was going to be all over Twitter in a couple of minutes. 

“Thank you so much, guys!” Harry said as he hugged everyone from his band. 

“What do you want to do, Harry? We can drive to France already or stay here until tomorrow?” Preston, His bodyguard/manager questioned when he walked over a few minutes later as Harry was about to change into some sweatpants. 

They had the next day off before having a concert in Paris the day after tomorrow. Harry had chosen to travel through Europe with a bus because he thought that it was quite comfortable and so no one had to worry about being on time or not. 

“Let’s hit the road,” Harry replied, pulling a jumper over his head, fixing his hair and taking his bag before following Preston out to the busses. 

There were no fans because the busses were still parked inside of the arena so Harry walked into the bus without having to stop for fans. He could already feel the energy leave his body and now he was starting to get tired. 

Harry had a bus on his own. It’s not that he didn’t like his band but he needed some space for himself and tonight Harry didn’t feel like talking anyway so he was quite happy when the door was being closed behind him and he was on his own. 

Sighing Harry sat down on the couch in the lounging area of the bus and pulled his phone out of his bag. He had gotten a few messages but most of them weren’t important. 

Slowly the adrenaline was leaving Harry’s body and the loneliness came creeping back. All of a sudden he felt lonely again. Harry did enjoy the concert, he really did but even though he thought he did a great job it was simply not the same. He missed the other boys dearly. He missed messing around with them, having a laugh, having a water fight and stuff like that. He knew that he had a lot of people around and that his entire crew was just a phone call away but he didn’t want Preston to fuss over him, he didn’t want Phoebe to cuddle him he didn’t want Mitch to play FIFA with. He wanted his brothers, his best friends. Harry wished for the old times to come back. 

The curly haired boy felt close to tears so he did the only thing he knew would cheer him up: Calling his mother 

“Hello baby,” Anne greeted after the second ring even though her voice sounded sleepy. 

“Did I wake you up?” Harry questioned, voice soft, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat. 

“No, I was just about to go to bed. Don’t worry about me. How was the concert, love?” 

Harry smiled at the nickname. His mother always knew how to make him feel better without acknowledging it. 

“It was good,” he replied then sighed. “I loved it.” 

Harry could hear the hesitation at the other end of the line. Like his mother was looking for the right words. 

“You don’t sound too happy. What’s really bothering you?” 

There it was again. Anne knew her baby boy so well that she could easily tell that he was upset over something. She knew that Harry was having a hard time lately. It had been a few months since Robin, her husband and Harry’s stepdad passed away and he was still trying to cope. Harry also missed his bandmates. He did have a lot of friends and Harry was such a nice person so he didn’t have any problem in befriending people but lately he didn’t seem like he wanted to have someone else around. 

He was famous all around the world. He had sold out this tour and yet he was just a young man who was dealing with some stuff as well. People always only saw Harr Styles, the popstar but he was much more. Anne had raised him so she knew all of his quirks. She knew that Harry loved doing what he was doing at the moment. He was enjoying himself with the solo thing but he was also missing out on something. Or at least that’s what he thought. She knew well enough that dark thoughts sometimes simply came up without you having a reason to feel down. 

When Harry had started his career with One Direction he had only been sixteen years old. When they had begun touring he had been seventeen and everyone had been looking out for them, like they were their sons. They had had so many people around, all treating them like they were children and now Harry needed to be all grown-up and mature. Their entire team had always been looking out for them and Harry and the other boys had grown up having each other and their entire staff around. Now he had a lot of new people around who treated him like he was a grown-up man and Anne felt like Harry sometimes needed this special treatment back. 

“I bet it was amazing. It’s taken its toll on you, am I right?” 

“I felt good on stage, I loved it but I also missed the boys at the same time, you know? And now I just feel lonely,” Harry whispered, not really bothering to answer his mother’s questions because she knew the answer anyway. 

“You should spend some time with someone else then. Sitting around moping isn’t gonna help you, dear.” 

Harry sighed again. He didn’t want to spend time with anyone. He just wanted to cry and be left alone. 

“I miss you already, mummy,” he said, not able to hold back the tears any longer. 

At the other end of the line Anne felt her heart ache. She just wanted to give her baby boy a hug and make things right again but she knew that she couldn’t. But she could for sure try. 

“I’ll book a flight to Paris and then you and I are going to have a chat.” She told him before continuing. “Now I want you to get some sleep, baby. I can hear that you’re tired. Everything is going to be okay!” 

“I love you,” Harry whispered before ending the call. 

He put the phone aside and started sobbing. He curled into a ball and let the tears stream down his face. With the thought of his loved ones Harry cried himself to sleep. 

*

When Harry woke up the next morning he felt like shit. His body was stiff from falling asleep in this weird position on the couch, his head was hurting a lot because he had probably cried too much and he was also in need of a shower. 

At first Harry was confused about where he was but then everything came rushing back, hitting him with so much force that it nearly knocked the air out of him. Looking around Harry quickly noticed that no sound could be heard. He could feel the bus moving and was quite sure that they were close to Paris already. 

Stretching his sore limbs and sitting up, Harry ran his hand through his curly and then reached for his more. It was only 6.30 in the morning and despite having slept for six and a half hours Harry felt tired. 

Luckily he had today off so he didn’t have to be bothered with putting on a show and plastering a fake smile on his face the entire time. He smiled upon seeing some messages on his phone. He chose to ignore all of them and just opened the one he got from Louis. 

**From: Lou**  
_Congrats on that show of yours! Twitter was going crazy about it. Great new songs! Miss you Xx_

Harry smiled, knowing that Louis was in America right now so he had probably seen the tweets and pictures whilst checking his phone before going to bed. Harry himself then went online. He clicked on the “HarryStylesLiveOnTourBasel” hashtag and so many tweets showed up. 

A lot of people only had nice things to say and a lot of people were freaking out because of his song “Medicine”. Apparently they weren’t sure if they’d gotten the lyrics right and Harry only chuckled. He liked doing this, liked making his fans eager and excited for the next concert. He knew the lyrics by heart and also knew that meaning behind the song but his fans didn’t know. 

This thing about Harry was that he had always spoken openly about meeting someone, falling in love with someone rather than saying girl or boy. He had never put a label on his, never had come out because it was not important to him. He didn’t care what people had to say about his sexuality. Of course people were suspicious saying that he at least had to be bisexual because otherwise he wouldn’t dance around with a pride flag on stage but Harry honestly didn’t care. 

Some of the tweets were less friendly, saying that the show had been boring or that his voice had sounded horrible but there were only a few. Harr had learned a long time ago to stop giving a shit abbot haters. It still bothered him a little bit but not as much as is had done years ago where he had cried over tweets like this. 

Harry knew that he had the most wonderful and loyal fans. People that spent so much money on his music, merchandise, concert tickets and he got to do all of this just because of his fans because he knew that he wouldn’t be able to do so without them sticking around. 

He read some more tweets before logging out, sending a quick thank you to Louis and promising to call him sometime soon. 

*

It was sometimes in the afternoon, Harry had been staying at his hotel in Paris the whole time, when someone knocked at his door. He got up from where he had been sitting on the bed and walked over to the door, opening it and coming face to face with his mother and Preston. 

“Mum!” he said and wrapped his arms around the smaller woman whilst Preston only nodded at him before excusing himself. 

“Hi baby,” Anne smiled back, rubbing her hands up and down her baby’s back. 

Hearing those words from his mother was all it took for Harry to break down. He started sobbing, holding onto his mother like his life was depending on it while said woman just pushed him a little bit so that the both of them were now inside of the hotel room. Anne definitely didn’t want anyone to see Harry break down like this. 

Her heart ached as she held Harry even closer, whispering sweet things into His ear. She was holding him tight, not planning on letting go sometime soon. 

The thing about Harry was that he was a fragile. He was soft, kind and caring. He was always worrying about others instead of making sure that he was fine himself. He never wanted to bother anyone and tried to deal with problems on his own but sometimes he was drowning without realizing. Anne had seen Harry break a few times in his life and she had always been there to catch him. 

The very first time this had happened had been about two weeks after Gemma’s and Harry’s biological father Desmond had left the family without looking back and saying goodbye to his children. Anne still remembered the look on Harrys face when she had told him that his father wasn’t coming back. The kid had been crushed and had started to withdraw, distancing himself from the family. Harry had been young back then but he had always blamed himself. 

Getting Harry out of this hole had been hard but he had gotten better and had found a new father in Anne’s second husband Robin. 

The second time Harry had been like this had been nearly four years ago when Harry and the other boys had gone on tour. They had been gone for a few months and as soon as Anne had seen Harry’s behavior change to pushing people away, looking tired and being moody she had taken actions into her own hands. 

She knew that she couldn’t be with Harry the entire time because she also had a job and so a month after they had started this tour Anne had had enough. She had seen the pictures and videos and she had known that Harry was smiling on the outside but breaking apart on the inside. She had called and texted him all of the time and somehow had managed to encourage Harry to talk to His bandmates about his problem. 

Harry being Harry had quickly told her that he was alright and that everything was just fine and so Anne had taken action and had told the boys about what was going on. Just like she had thought Niall, Liam, Louis and Zayn had been nothing but understanding, promising her to watch after her son and their “brother” and soon after their chat she had noticed that Harry had looked happier and that the circles underneath his eyes had gotten smaller. 

Since then Harry had always had four boys to check on him whenever he felt a little bit down and life had been great for him with his boys being around all of the time. 

Since One Direction had gone on hiatus Anne had felt like Harry was doing good. He was at such a good mental place, being happy and loving life so seeing him like that right now made her heart ache. She knew deep down that neither her nor his crew was going to be enough this time. She was quite sure that Harry needed a “brother”. He probably needed one of His bandmates to tell him that everything was going to be just fine. 

“Harry baby breathe,” she said as he pulled away from her son, looking at his puffy eyes before wiping some tears away from his cheeks. 

Harry tried his hardest to stop the tears from falling but failed miserably falling into his mother’s arms once again. He knew that he was acting absolutely ridiculous but he couldn’t help it. Deep down he knew that he was a grown up man who definitely shouldn’t cry about being away from his family, his friends or his home because he got to live his dream but for some reason it just felt wrong at the moment. He loved doing what he was doing and hated it at the same time. 

He had only left his home yesterday so how the hell was he going to survive being away from home for weeks once he was going to tour in Australia or America? So many things were running through his head and Harry actually thought about giving this up but then again remembered that he couldn’t do this because of the fans. They were relying on him. 

“I need you to tell me exactly what’s bothering you so much, okay?” His mother asked in her sweet voice, brushing some loose curls out of his face as the two of them moved over to sit on the couch. 

“I just miss everyone,” Harry hiccupped, a new set of tears forming in his eyes, threatening to fall. “It’s not the same doing this on your own.” 

“I know it’s not baby but you have so many people with you. You can always talk to whoever you want to,” Anne argued event though she knew that it might be useless. “How can I help you feel better?” 

“Stay with me?” Harry questioned, sounding like a small and broken five-year old boy who had had a nightmare and was too afraid to go back to sleep on His own. 

“I will baby, I will,” she whispered, pulling Harry forward so that he was curled up on the couch, His head resting in her lap. “Now get some sleep, you’re exhausted. We’ll find a way to deal with it. I love you so much, poppet!” 

“Love you too, mum,” Harry replied and couldn’t hold back a yawn, his eyes slipping shut. It only took a few seconds for his breathing to ease out and that was when Anne knew that her baby boy had fallen asleep. 

*

To say that Harry was happier the next day was an understatement. With his mother being around he felt happy and confident and he also felt like he’s going to smash this tour. He was full of energy, wanting to go out and perform. He spent His time exploring Paris with his mother and they were both lucky because they didn’t get mobbed and got to be normal tourists exploring the city. 

Harry had a concert that night and he was so happy and messed around on stage while his mother watched him, waving at him whenever he looked over to her and putting her thumb up, silently telling him that he was doing an amazing job. 

Anne loved seeing her baby boy this happy even though she knew that things were going to change once she had to leave. 

She had already told Harry that she couldn’t stay because of her job and Harry had assured her that he was going to be okay even though she didn’t quite believe him. 

Anne stayed two days longer with her son, watching his concert in Amsterdam as well, smiling when she sees him wearing the amazing custom by Harris Reed, a young designer. Harry once again seemed to be happy and confident and gives his mother a big hug once he got off stage. It’s late in the night but the two of them decided to go out for dinner before heading to bed. 

The next morning Anne had to say goodbye to her son. He was already crying when she put her clothes into her suitcase and Anne’s heart ached. 

“You have to be strong now, baby. Look at yourself. You’re doing so well and you should enjoy yourself instead of putting yourself down. Go and spend some time with Nick or Clare, explore the cities you’re at,” she suggested even though she was quite sure that her suggestion was falling on deaf ears. 

“I will do that,” Harry answered, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“I can come back in a week. If you want me to then I’ll be there. You know it’s easier for me to stop by over the weekend but I need you to start fighting these inner demons that were holding you back right now. Get rid of them!” 

Harry felt like some weight had been lifted off His chest. One week. He could do that. One week and he’d be reunited with his mother. 

“I’ll try, mum,” he told her, knowing deep down that she was right. 

*

The next days were different for Harry. He was trying really hard to fight against these demons suffocating him. He opened up some more, spending time with his band or his stylist during the day. He texted His mother, his sister and even the other boys. He was smiling when he read about Niall’s tour. He had seen a lot of videos and he knew that the Irish boy was doing such an amazing job. 

Niall was always telling them about how happy he was that he got the chance to do this and how good life was. Liam was packing his bag for a trip to Japan while Louis was about to leave Los Angeles and go back to London to meet up with his family. 

Harry wanted to be just as happy as Niall but his mind was still telling him otherwise. He couldn’t stop the bad thoughts or the feeling of loneliness. He felt like he needed someone being constantly around him or otherwise he was going to drown. 

It was five days before Anne was about to come back for a visit when it happened. Harry was sitting in his dressing room in Copenhagen, waiting for time to pass. He was already dressed and ready for the show. He could still here Mabel, his opening act, perform and so he knew that he wouldn’t be on for another thirty minutes at least. 

Pulling out his phone Harry smiled when he saw that His mother had sent him a message. He quickly opened it but upon reading through her text he regretted opening it in the first place. 

From: Mum  
Harry dear I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to see you this weekend. We’ve got a new, big project and I have to get things done rather quick. I’ll call you later, sweetie! Xx

Harry felt his eyes water instantly. He was pulling at his hair, throwing the phone to the floor, not caring about the possibility of breaking it at all. 

“Hey Harry I just wanted to…,” Mitch said as he walked into the dressing room and saw Harry looking frustrated and clearly upset. “Are you alright?” 

You see Mitch, just like the others of the band, knew that Harry was trying to keep up a façade. They could tell that he was dealing with some stuff and even though Mitch and Harry were close friends he obviously didn’t want him to know about his problems. They were all here waiting in case Harry needed someone to talk to but wouldn’t push him. 

“I..I’m fine,” Harry replied, trying to put on a smile but finding it rather hard to do so. 

“You don’t have to lie,” Nick reminded the younger boy and took a seat on the couch right next to him. 

“Mum’s not coming on the weekend,” Harry explained and his bassist just nodded his head as if he understands. 

He came to the conclusion that Harry was dealing with homesickness a few days ago and he was definitely not judging the younger man. 

“Aw man this sucks,” Mitch said, honesty in his voice, and wrapped his arm around Harry’s smaller frame, rubbing his back in a comforting way. “Maybe someone else can stop by?” 

Harry shook his head, inhaling deeply. 

“Nope. Gem’s still in America and the lads were all quite busy.” 

“You know you can always talk to everyone around here. No one was going to judge you for being homesick,” Mitch reminded him. 

“I know that, thank you. I just have a hard time opening up about it.” 

“Just let us know. We’re all here for you. Now come one let’s get ready and go on stage!” 

Mitch squeezed Harry’s knee before getting up, reaching his hand out for Harry to take it. The younger boy did so and a few minutes later Harry was standing on stage, feeling overwhelmed by the crowd once again. When he was on stage he forgot about everything that was happening in his life. It was just him, the music and the fans then. 

He smiled and laughed, told them jokes and just had a great time. That was until he started playing his song “Meet me in the hallway”. 

Harry knew all the lyrics by heart of course. He always liked to go back to the places where he wrote the songs in the first place whilst performing them but today Harry could only think about the people he needs the most. His mother, his sister and his best friends. 

He kept singing the lyrics and couldn’t help the tears forming in His eyes. He knew that he couldn’t break down now but this one line was repeating itself in his head over and over again. 

_I gotta get better_

Harry was quite aware of the fact that he couldn’t’ keep doing this to himself or his mother. He knew that she worried way too much and he also knew that it was not fair. He had to move on, had to accept the fact that this was his life now. He was doing this on his own because he chose to just like the others did. He probably just had to get used to it. 

The music was still playing when Harry turned around the walked off the stage, tears glistening in his eyes. He somehow managed to sing the song without his voice cracking or the tears falling but Harry was quite sure that people noticed the change of the atmosphere. 

*

Louis Tomlinson was lying on his couch in his house in London, head resting on a soft pillow, TV playing in the background, scrolling through his phone. 

He had gotten back from the US two days ago and was now fighting against jetlag. It was eleven o’clock in the evening and he really wanted to sleep but his body seemed to think that it was too early for him to fall asleep yet and so Louis took his phone and decided to check his social media accounts. 

Instagram was the same as always. There were a lot of new pictures but nothing extraordinary. He liked some of them whilst commenting on some others from his siblings before closing the App and moving on to Twitter. 

Louis was only following around 4000 people on Twitter. It was still enough for his timeline to change every few seconds but he managed to see some tweets from time to time and today some tweets caught his eyes. 

_Harry looked so sad tonight._

_Oh my god my heart_

He was confused at first and then quickly typed in the words “Harry sad” into the search bar of Twitter and instantly tons of tweets, pictures and videos showed up.

He clicked on the first one he could find and felt his heart break a little when he looked at one of his best friends being close to tears. He immediately noticed that Harry looked tired even though his stylist had obviously tried to cover up the bags underneath his eyes. 

Louis wondered what was going on because he had texted Harry two days ago and the younger boy had told him that he was doing just fine but he didn’t look like he was fine at all and so Louis couldn’t help the strange feeling that settled in his stomach. 

He quickly typed in Harry’s name in the last of his contacts on his phone and pressed on the button, calling the curly haired boy. 

“ ‘llo?” Harry asked as he answers the call after the fourth ring. His voice was thick with sleep and Louis instantly felt bad for waking up his friend. 

“Hey Haz,” he replied, smiling slightly before continuing “How are you doing?” 

He heard Harry shuffling on the other end of the line, probably getting more comfortable in bed or sitting up before he spoke again. 

“I’m great. How about you? Why are you calling?” 

“Just wanted to check on you. I saw some pictures and videos from your concert and you seemed to be quite sad,” he explained and could hear Harry take a deep breath. 

The line was silent then. Louis could hear Harry breathe so he knew that he didn’t end the call but the curly haired boy didn’t say anything, obviously trying to search for words. 

“I..I..,” he stuttered after another minute of silence. Louis was quite sure that his voice was shaking now, another hint that Harry was close to tears or already crying. 

“Is everyone in your family alright? Did something happen?” 

“I miss you,” Harry whispered then, completely ignoring Louis’ question. “Mum’s not coming.” 

Louis sat up on his couch, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. A memory came rushing back to his brain. 

_“Harry you need to tell us what’s bothering you so much,” Louis pressed, holding his crying bandmate and friend even closer, kissing the top of his head softly._

__

__

Harry hadn’t been himself lately. He barely ate and sleeps, kept distancing himself from the others and was always on his phone.

Right now the five boys were sitting in their dressing room, about to go on stage in an hour. They decided to get Harry to open up to them about what was bothering him so much.

“I just…,” Harry started, looking at all of them.

He was being held by Louis while Liam’s hand was resting on his knee, squeezing it softly. Niall and Zayn were sitting opposite, watching him with nervous eyes, ready to reach out whenever they were needed.

“You can tell us everything, babe. We won’t judge you,” Liam quickly reassured the trembling boy, using his hand to wipe away some of the tears.

“I miss home..and..and..my. mum,” Harry whispered, closing his eyes as another sob rocked through His body.

Suddenly he felt another pair of arms wrap around him and soon finds himself being cuddled and kissed by all of his bandmates.

“Hey that’s okay.” Niall said and Harry had a feeling that he meant it.

“It’s so embarrassing,” Harry cried, burying his face into Liam’s shirt.

“No it’s not, sweets,” Zayn whispered and rans his hand up and down Harry’s back. “I do miss home as well. We all do. You’ll get over it though. Just remember that we’re always there for you!”

“I love you boys!” Harry told his bandmates, wiping away the tears on his face with his hands before looking at his friends. “I love you guys so much!”

 _„We love you too, Hazza,” Louis was the first the answer and then smiled “We’re going to make sure that you’re always busy now so that you don’t even have time to think about home!”_

“What do you mean your mum’s not coming?” 

“She promised to come on the weekend but she cancelled. I’m so alone Lou,” Harry sobbed brokenly and Louis just wanted to wrap his arms around his friend. 

He knew that Harry’s always had a hard time dealing with fame and being away from home. He had only been sixteen when their journey had started. They had been thrown into this new life without a warning and people had always taken a high interest in Mr. Harry Styles, giving him a hard time. Sometimes Louis wondered how Harry managed to deal with all this stuff. He was always kind and polite, never snapped at anyone no matter how much people were bothering him. 

While Louis never had a problem telling people to fuck off Harry was more likely to flip out like that. He was always bottling up his emotions until they got the better of him, like they were now. 

“Oh Haz,” Louis sighed loudly, “You have so many people on tour with you. Go and spend some time with them. Don’t sit there alone. Talk to them, tell them how you feel. I’m sure they’ll understand.” 

“But I don’t want them,” Harry protested and Louis couldn’t picture him pouting right now, “I want my mum and you guys!” 

“I’m sure your mum will find another day to come for a visit. You should get some sleep now babes. It’s late!” 

“I miss you, Lou. Good night,” Harry said with this sad voice making Louis heart ache.

“I miss you too. Love you, Hazza!” 

Once he ended the call Louis thought about what to do. He knew that Niall was touring himself, Liam was currently in Japan and with Anne having no time he was the only one that was left. 

Harry was like a brother to him and he hated knowing that he was not doing well. He quickly checked Harry’s tour schedule and noticed that he has tomorrow off before having a concert in Oslo the day after tomorrow. 

Smiling to himself Louis decided to get some sleep now before starting his mission: Make Harry smile again. 

*

When Louis met Preston at the airport he greeted the man with a big hug. He hadn’t seen him in a while so it was great to see him again. 

“It’s good to see you,” Preston told him, patting his back. “Harry will be so happy to see you!” 

“How’s he doing?”, Louis questioned as the two of them walk towards the car. 

“You know how he gets. Everyone was willing to help but he refuses to let us. He’s by himself most of the time, doesn’t want to go out at all. We got here in the morning and he literally told me to pick him up tomorrow afternoon. He’s not even planning on leaving His room. Anne was here last week and he was happy back then but now he’s even sadder than before.” 

Louis sighed and knew that Harry really needed a friend right now. 

“I’ll try my best to help,” he said, honesty in his voice. “Maybe I’ll call Liam and Niall as well.” 

“I think he’ll be so excited to see you!” 

The two of them continued to chat about a lot of things as they drove to the hotel. Preston told him about Harry while Louis talked about his career, the album recording, his family. 

Once they reached the hotel Louis quickly got out of the car, thanked Preston and made his way upstairs to Harry’s room. He knocked on the door softly and waited. 

A little while later the door was being opened and Harry stood there. His hair was messy, even messier than usual. It had grown a lot since Louis’ seen Harry the last time. Harry’s eyes seemed to be dull and lifeless though. There were dark circles underneath them, confirming Louis’ suspicion of Harry not getting enough sleep. Harry appeared smaller, his shirt hanging loose on His body. He had probably lost some weight as well. 

*

Harry and his band arrived in Oslo about an hour ago. Harry was having a really bad day today after his phone call with Louis the night before. He simply didn’t feel like doing anything and so he walked into his hotel room, closed the door and planned on staying there until tomorrow afternoon. He was not in the mood to go out and explore the city or do a workout or hang out with his band. He just wanted to be left alone. 

Needlessly to say Harry was not amused when there was a knock on his door sometimes during the afternoon. He had spent his time sitting on the balcony, drinking some tea, trying to keep the dark thoughts at bay. 

He slowly dragged himself over to the door, putting aside his notebook before he did so. He was about to snap at whoever knocked in the first place when he came face to face with Louis. 

Harry’s mouth fell open in shock, his eyes growing wide. 

“Louis?”, he said shocked even though it was more a statement than a question. 

“That’d be me,” the older boy replied and chuckled before opening his arms. Harry instantly moved and wrapped his arms around the older but smaller boy, breathing in his scent. 

“What were you doing here?” 

“I can’t have you feel miserable and lonely without doing something, can I?” 

*

Louis and Harry spent the day cuddling, talking and just having a laugh. For quite a while Harry was just happy and forgot about everything that was going on. He had Louis with him and this was enough for now. 

Louis on the other hand knew that Harry might fall apart once he had to leave and so he knew that he had to help the younger boy. 

“Hey Harry?”, Louis asked, running his hand through his friends curls as the younger boy lay on the bed, head resting in Louis’ lap. 

“Hmm?” 

“When was the last night you slept? You seem to be very tired,” Louis stated as he runs his fingers over the bags under Harry’s eyes while said boy only shrugged. 

“Dunno,” he answered honestly. “I can’t sleep more than three hours before the bad thoughts were coming back.” 

Louis sighed as he watched his friend closely. He for sure did look a lot younger then twenty-four right now. 

“Try to get some sleep then. I’ll be here when you wake up,” he promised upon seeing Harry’s eyes widen before he relaxes again. 

Harry removed his head from Louis’ lap and made himself comfortable on the bed before closing his eyes. He suddenly felt the exhaustion and smiled when he heard Louis quietly sing the chorus of “Little Things” before falling asleep feeling safe and happy. 

Louis sat right next to Harry and watched the younger boy for quite some time, listening to his steady breathing and soft snores. When he was sleeping he looked young and peaceful, his features soft and no signs of worry written over His face. 

The Doncaster lad looked through his phone. He thought about texting Niall and Liam to let them know what’s going on because he was quite sure that they would want to help as well. He had just opened WhatsApp when Harry’s phone suddenly started ringing. 

Quickly he reached over his sleeping friend and grabbed the phone from his nightstand, accepting the call without looking at the caller ID at first. He definitely didn’t want Harry to wake up from his peaceful slumber right now. 

Looking down at the Caller-ID he saw that Anne, Harrys mother was calling and so he got out of bed, phone pressed to His ear. 

“Hi Anne,” he said as he walked onto the balcony, seeing that it was the only place where he won’t disturb Harry. 

For the first time since arriving he noticed that the weather was rather bad. It was raining and it was quite cold outside. However the view from the balcony was breathtaking. He could see so much of Oslo but the rain and the wind made him feel cold so he put the hood of his jumper over His head. 

“Louis?”, Anne questioned sounding rather surprised. “Are you with Harry?” 

Louis nodded yes but then realized that the woman couldn’t see him. 

“Yes, I am.” 

“Why?” 

Louis looked up to the sky. It definitely didn’t look like it was going to stop raining sometime soon which was a shame because he bet that Oslo was a beautiful city. 

Louis had always loved touring. It was and still is the best part of the job but he never really got to see a lot of places they went to. Most of the time their schedule was rather packed, leaving no time to explore or their bodyguards didn’t want them to get mobbed and so it happens that Louis never got the chance to explore Oslo. 

“I saw some videos of him performing yesterday. He looked so sad and when I called him he told me that he feels lonely,” he explained knowing that he didn’t have to lie to Anne about this. 

“Thank god that you’re with him,” the woman said, sighing in relief. “I had to cancel my trip yesterday because of work. He’s in this dark place again, Louis.” 

“I’ve noticed,” Louis answered, turning around to see that Harry was still sleeping peacefully inside of the room. “I’m here now anyway and I’m not going to leave him alone. I might as well call Liam and Niall and then we’ll work something out.” 

Louis could literally picture Anne right now. She was probably sitting in this love chair in her living room, playing with a loose strand of hair. He figured that she was close to tears because her voice broke every now and then. 

“I think he really needs this. He was so happy when I was with him but he really just needs you all. We have to try to get him out of this hole. Where was he anyways?” 

“He’s finally sleeping. Told me that he has trouble sleeping lately so I finally got him to get some rest. He looked like a dead man walking,” Louis explained while Anne just continues to listen. 

She had known Louis for nearly eight years now and loved him like a son. She knew that he was good for Harry. All of his band mates were. When they first got put together into the band Louis had taken Harry under his wing. With him being the oldest and Harry being the youngest member the band he had always felt responsible for Harry. 

“I’ll try my best to come out next weekend but knowing that you’re with him now makes me feel a lot better,” the woman replied, thanking Louis for being there and having Harry’s back. As always. 

“Don’t stress yourself, Anne. I’ve got this covered. I’ll keep you informed.” 

“Thank you so much, dear. Tell Harry I said hi!” 

When Louis ended the call he notices that it was raining even harder than before. It’s was quite cold outside so he made his way back into the room, noticing that Harry was still dead to the world, snoring softly. 

Louis lay down on the bed again and reached for His phone. He quickly unlocked it and opens WhatsApp once again, typing in a message to both Liam and Niall to let them know what’s going on. 

**To: Payno, Nialler**  
_I’m with Harry. He’s in this dark place again, missing us and his family. I’ve got him now but it’d be nice if you could manage to stop by as well. Xx_

Louis continued to scroll though his social media accounts, checking Twitter. He was looking through some tags as well. Louis was currently working on his first solo album. He had spent a lot of time in Los Angeles working with some amazing producers and artist. He found it rather difficult to put an album together and with all of the things that had happened things were going quite slow at the moment. However his fans didn’t seem to mind too much always showing their support nevertheless. 

Louis phone buzzed a few minutes later and he saw that both Niall and Liam replied to his text. 

**From: Payno**  
_Oh no, how was he holding up? Hate to say this but I’m going to Japan in two days. Won’t be able to meet up until the 29th. Give H a big hug and tell him I love him. I’ll call him tomorrow!_

 **From: Nialler**  
_Having a break from tour from the 30th of March until 18th of April. Was planning on going to the Masters Tournament but Haz was more important than that. Plan on having me then. Just give me the details and we’ll work something out. I’m going to call Hazza tonight, ok?_

Louis smiled upon reading these texts. He knew that even though they were not a band at the moment these boys were like a family. No matter what they were always there for each other, making sure that the others were okay. Thinking back to the time Louis needed them the most after His mother passed away he still remembers all of them flying back to the UK from wherever they were in the world to support him on His X-Factor performance. Their bond was still so strong and it simply was amazing. 

*

The next few days were fun. Louis watches the bags underneath Harry’s eyes disappear after two days. Harry slowly came out of this dark place opening up to Louis about his fears of losing himself in the music business and having no one to rely on. 

The older boy quickly reassured Harry that he literally had an entire village of people caring for him and that this was never going to happen. He reminded Harry about how important he was to all of them and that no one was going to let him drown. 

He managed to get Harry to open up to his band, telling them about His struggles and inner demons and just like he had expected they didn’t judge him in the slightest. Claire even shed a few tears herself telling Harry that she had days like this as well and Harry being Harry hugged her tight and told her that she’s going to be okay. 

Every single concert was just perfect. Louis loved to see Harry perform in these amazing outfits made just for him. It was incredible to see him do so well and Harry enjoyed himself so much. With Louis by his side nothing seemed to be impossible and the two of them spent so much time together just laughing about the good old times that Harry forgot about his problems for hours. 

He talked to Niall and Liam as well, facetiming them whenever he and Louis found the time to do so and then they all laughed together and even though he still went on stage on his own Harry felt like he was reunited with his brothers. 

He barely called his mum just sending her a text from time to time telling her that he was doing fantastic and that life was perfect. He didn’t think about the possibility of Louis leaving sometime soon so it hit him out of nowhere when Louis brought it up on a Wednesday night when both boys were lying in bed in their hotel in Barcelona where Harry was set to perform in two days. 

“Hey Haz?” Louis questioned before turning his head to look at his friend who put his phone away and faced him. 

“What?” 

“You know.. You know I can’t stay with you all of the time, right?” he asked and heard Harry inhale sharply, eyes growing wide. 

“I..I..,” he stuttered, before closing his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. “I know.” 

The thing was that Harry knew deep down that this day was coming. Louis had his own life and his own career so he couldn’t stay with him, watching over him the entire time but Harry loved every second of having someone from His “family” around. 

With Louis’ help he grew closer to Clare, Sarah, Adam and Mitch but he was still relying on the people that meant the most to him, including Louis of course. 

“I’m leaving on Friday after the concert,” he quickly explained and Harry nodded his head, trying to stop the tears from falling but failing miserably. 

The thing was that Easter was coming up and he promised to spend some time with his family. He promised his grandmother to come for a visit and he knew that they were all looking forward to seeing their grand-son and brother again after weeks of being away. 

“Hey, none of that. You’ll be just fine,” he reassured Harry, smiling softly at him. 

The thing was that he was going to leave on Friday but Niall and Liam were going to be there. Liam had come back from Japan today and Niall was finishing his tour tomorrow before having a three-week long break and they both decided to come to Barcelona as well to surprise Harry. 

Niall even promised to stay with the curly haired lad then, cancelling his plans of going to the USA to play golf. 

“I’ll miss you, boo.” Harry hiccupped and Louis pulled him close, having to bite his tongue. He wanted to tell Harry right now that he didn’t have to cry and that he was going to be just fine but he promised the lads to keep it a secret and so he just rubbed Harry’s back as the younger boy cried, sobs racking through his body. 

“We’ll figure this out, okay? We always do,” Louis promised after a few more minutes of Harry crying. 

He noticed that the younger boys eyes were falling shut and pressed a soft kiss to Harry’s hair, listening to his breathing becoming slower before he fell asleep in Louis’ arms, cheeks still wet from the tears. 

*

It was two days later and Harry was already on the edge when he woke up. He knew that Louis was going to leave him tonight and while he told himself that he was going to be just fine wasn’t sure if he could trust his own words. 

Time seemed to pass rather quick that day and soon Harry found himself in the car on their way to the arena, Louis sitting right next to him. The older boy talked about being excited to go home over the weekend, spending some time with his family and Harry instantly felt bad because he was the one pulling Louis away from them in the first place. 

He knew that he was such a baby and a burden. He knew that he was selfish and that he should feel happy for Louis but he couldn’t. Harry could only think about the fact that he was going to be all alone tomorrow. His mother wasn’t coming either and so Harry was going to be on his own again and he was really worried about it. 

“Let’s go inside now, okay?” Louis questioned once they arrived at the venue. 

The older boy was quite nervous today because he had this surprise planned with Liam and Niall and he wanted things to work out. He was also quite excited because his grandmother had called this morning telling him that both she and both sets of twins, Ernest and Doris and Phoebe and Daisy, had caught a stomach bug. They were all quite sick so Lottie and Fizzy weren’t going home for the holidays and since Louis didn’t want to deal with a sick family he had planned on not going as well which meant he could spend some more time with Harry and of course with Liam and Niall. He also hadn’t seen the boys in a long time so he was really looking forward to spending some time with them. 

Harry and Louis were sitting in the dressing room, playing Mario Kart on the Wii when there was a knock on the door. 

“I’ll get it,” Louis said quickly, pausing the game and walking over to the door. He knew that Liam and Niall were here, sending him a text just minutes ago and he couldn’t wait to see Harry’s face when he saw them. 

“Come on in lads,” he yelled as he opened the door and came face to face with his bandmates and best friends. 

Niall was laughing hard already while Liam just grinned and looked past Louis at Harry who was facing them with a shocked expression on His face. 

“Hi Hazza,” Niall smiled as he jumped onto the couch right next to the curly haired boy and wrapped his arms around Harry. 

The younger boy was quite surprised and didn’t even know what to do at first but once his mind progressed what was happening he quickly hugged Niall back, holding onto him like his life depended on it. 

“It’s good to see you too, poppet,” the irish boy said with a grin, pressing a soft kiss to Harry’s cheek. 

“Niall, give the kid a break. I need a hug as well,” Liam scolded and Niall quickly obeyed, moving away from Harry who was crying now. 

“It’s good to see you babe,” Liam whispered as he pulled his friend into a hug as well. 

“What are you doing here?” Harry asked after a few more minutes of hugging both Niall and Liam and touching them like he was convinced that this was just a dream. 

“Someone told us that you’re not doing too good on your own so we decided to stop by and little Nialler here is going to stay with you now until his tour starts again,” Liam explained and grinned at Louis who only nodded his head. 

“I love you all so freaking much. I missed you!” Harry told them, voice soft before pulling all of his brothers close once again. 

“Since my grandmother cancelled this morning I’m also going to stick around for a few more days. I hope you don’t mind, young Harold?” 

Harry chuckled and shook his head, his heart filling with joy. He definitely had the most amazing family. 

“Since Cheryl is going to Australia with Bear I’ll stay as well,” Liam suddenly said and they all clapped their hands together happily. 

“This is going to be the best time ever,” Niall replied before putting a finger in the air. “But.. I guess someone is missing.” 

They all watched as Niall walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Zayn who was standing there awkwardly. 

“Hi,” he said and raised his hand to wave at them but Niall being Niall wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him into the room. 

Harry felt unsure about what to do. He watched closely as Zayn hugged both Liam and Louis, telling them how much he missed them. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to see his former bandmate he really was but had seen the interviews and knew that Zayn had said some stuff about the two of them not being friends and so he stood back and waited. 

Zayn of course noticed Harry’s behavior and sighed before walking over to Harry. 

“Hazza I want to start by saying that I’m sorry. I never meant any of the things I said in those interviews. You were and still are one of my best friends. I got in touch with Niall lately and he told me that you’re not doing too good at the moment so I decided to come here as well to show you that I still care so much about you. You’re still my little brother and I’m sorry for the way things turned out between the two of us. I’m going to stick around for a little while as well. That’s if you want me to.” 

Harry could tell that Zayn was telling the truth and so he quickly wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, hugging him close. Zayn still smelled like cigarettes and Harry inhaled his scent deeply. 

Maybe he wasn’t alright at the moment but he for sure had an entire village looking after him and with the help of his friends he was going to be just fine. 

*


End file.
